Word to the wise:
Don’t teach a class and write things on the internet about feeling your fecking feelings if you don’t want to spend an hour on Saturday morning crying in your car after yoga.
Goddamn, it was ROUGH. A wave of grief took me on a ride that felt like singing a song with no notes. I felt out of my mind, which was exactly my intention, but still. I’ve been focusing all my awareness on my ‘subtle energy body’, and there was this one little numb-ish spot in my back that I’d been breathing into all through Ashtanga Primary series.
Turns out that little spot NEEDED TO EXPRESS ITSELF. With wails. And moans. And apology. And disbelief. Whew. The worst part is that my favorite astrology app, Chani, told me THAT TODAY IS MY LUCKIEST DAY OF THE WHOLE YEAR. dafuq? God, are you punishing me for sounding like a cliché? God’s response: “homie don’t play that, you’re the only one punishing yourself with judgment and shame, per usual…”
Sigh.
Noted.
So here’s the thing. It still might be my lucky day. And I’m going to tell you why with someone else’s words because my eyes are still burning.
“You need your body’s wisdom to manifest your deepest dreams and desires. You do. It’s hard. I know. But you can do it. Your body is waiting for you to slow down long enough for your body to truly speak to you.”
When people ask me what my “secret” is, to creativity or beauty or sight, I want tell them it’s this. But I don’t usually know how. I don’t know how to say “it’s because I cry a lot and I listen to my body, and I feel my fecking feelings especially when I think it might kill me”. It's how I keep myself from ‘killing’ others.
Speaking of which, the class I taught this week was bussin’ and chock-full of creative secrets. In case you don’t have the hour or paid subscription to listen (though I’m sad for you if not because it’s really worth it and I don’t always say that about my teaching), I’ll give you three of those secrets for free (they were given to me by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes in her audiobook The Power of the Crone: Myths and Stories of the Wise Woman Archetype)...
The 3 Secrets of the Gifted Soul
Since you were born gifted, you will never lead an ordinary life.
Eccentricity is the first sign of giftedness. You are made one of a kind, with all your oddities. They are arrows pointing straight to your giftedness.
If you are seeking to be normal, I hope you’ll get over it. Normalcy is the enemy of giftedness.
Clip from Getting Unstuck Creatively from my new series of classes, Secrets of the Creative Life. Watch the whole class (and so much more!) by becoming a paid subscriber and supporting my work.
In the comments, I’d love for you to tell me about an experience you’ve had recently feeling your feelings.
xx,
Yan
