we love what ends

aliens and fireworks

Last night, 2/3 of my kids and I went to a drone show. We were invited by friends who are more like family. 

I’d never been to a drone show before. Have you? 

It was strange and mesmerizing. An animatronic hologram hanging in the sky. Words and shapes so perfectly symmetric and synchronized, they felt alien.

In fact, the drones shaped themselves into an alien, I think for that very reason. ‘May as well call a spade a spade,’ the drone alien seemed to be saying as it flashed the crowd a peace sign.

Now, I like aliens. A lot of the time? I feel like one, which is probably the most human thing about me. But that's not why I’m telling you this story. I’m telling you this story because after the drones, there were FIREWORKS. 

And the fireworks exploded. The fireworks were unpredictable. The fireworks were unquestionably bad for the environment. The fireworks were a glimmering chaos no one could control or predict how long each would last before it burned to its end.

My heart leapt and wept. This was the closest to fireworks I’d ever been. So close, it was dangerous. I was laughing like a maniac at parts. My daughter kept yelling about how little ashes and shrapnel were hitting people. But she was smiling and awed at the exact same time. 

As far as I know, no one was hurt.

But I felt all of mine. In those moments I felt all of my hurt exploding into awe for the reminder of what we all are. 

I don't have much more to say this week.

That's a lie. I have two exciting announcements and another three things I’m loving that make me feel like those fireworks did. I hope you check them out. Please tell me if you love them too.

Here’s what I’m loving:

1. I Saw The TV Glow — For anyone who’s ever had trouble knowing what's real and not real.

   

2. All Fours by Miranda July  — This is being called all sorts of things, including the best thing written about a woman’s desire. I just know that the last few chapters made me ugly cry with transcendence that can only come from accepting the brutality of the whole. And that the same day I finished it, my dear friend from across the sea, Wendy Laurel texted me that she had just finished a book that reminded her of me, asking if I’d read it yet. It was the best compliment I’ve gotten in a long time.

   

3. Big Science by Laurie Anderson — This album came out the year I was born. I think it's one of the best in existence. It is prescient and way ahead of its time. And I think it's a map for how to move forward with the aliens (drone show) while not losing our humanity (fireworks) at the same time. Don't intellectualize it. The map is a feeling. I'm also excited to check out her documentary Heart of a Dog.

   ---

Here are the two exciting announcements:

1. This week I will be releasing the much-anticipated location and date of my only HUMN workshop this year with my friend Ryan Muirhead. You can sign up to be first in line when the date drops and snag limited early bird pricing here.

2. I'm experimenting. This is the softest launch I've ever done. It’s a loose but very simple idea. It came to me because someone really cool asked me about it. And I thought, why not? Imma throw out a line to see if I catch anything.

   Here it is: One day, in-person mentoring with me. You come to me. You set your curriculum. 9-5. I buy you a delicious lunch. We buy our own delicious dinner together after. We talk too long about everything and linger over empty plates. We end with a sunset walk in the mountains. VERY LIMITED AVAILABILITY. Grab it here.

   

    

xx, 

Yan